Sunday, August 28, 2011
HOW TO CHANGE CHILD BEHAVIOUR
Do you want to know how to change child behavior? If so, then you're probably a parent, a sibling or some sort of guardian. I understand your situation.
Children can be quite a handful; and as much as we want them to grow up to be good and kind, there are times when their behavior shows otherwise. The earlier you deal with bad behavior, the better.
Here are some proven ways to change child behavior:
1) Through Effective Role Models
Children learn by copying those around them. If the child you're in custody of shows bursts of violence, that could mean anything from a violent television show or violence at home or at school.
Do what you can to become a positive role model. For example, avoid raising your voice and hitting others (even if it's only playful) in front of the child. Don't expose the kid to violence on television and encourage shows which are conducive to learning positive values instead.
2) Through Honesty And Compassion
One effective way to change child behavior is to call the child out when caught in the act. Instead of reprimanding the kid, however, show compassion.
Tell the child what he did wrong and why it's wrong in the first place. You might think he's too young to understand, but he's probably not. Kids today show a remarkable understanding of life, and it's up to you to lead them in the right direction.
3) Through Reward And Indifference
Everyone understands the concept of reward and punishment. Even children have an inherent knowledge of how this system works. However, in this case, let us use the word indifference instead.
When a child does something good, you may reward him with your choice of prize on occasions (Don't overdo it and don't make it predictable; or else, he might only get motivated to behave because of the prize and not because it's the right thing to do).
But when he exhibits untoward behavior, and doesn't respond to your honesty and compassion technique, the only thing left to do is to ignore him.
I'm not saying you should leave your child alone in the house while you gossip with the neighbors; or worse, have a drink at the local bar. I'm proposing not talking to the child (but still keeping an eye on him) until he eventually apologizes for his bad behavior.
Keep in mind though that this technique is only for kids who are old enough to know that what they're doing is bad.
These are just some of the proven ways to change child behavior. Hopefully, you can find something that you can use best in your situation. Recently, I had a conversation with three guys who let it spill that they test girls on dates. Yikes! They watch how closely we act — way closer than you think — and they judge. The problem, or perception, is that some women think their mere presence on a date is enough, and that they can show up late, place difficult off-menu orders, or just sit there and look pretty. Not that we're all a bunch of divas, but I think even the nicest of us can get a little too comfortable and spoiled in the dating world. Behave how you want, but I'll tell ya, he is watching you. He is watching, and he is THEIR detailed notes.
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Excessive praise will give children the message that obedience and good behavior are optional. It's better to give your child the message that he is doing exactly what you expect, not something out of the ordinary. Children are programmed to meet your expectations. Sometimes all that is needed for you to break a negative cycle is to expect good behavior.
ReplyDeleteT think that quote "lead by example" applies in this case a lot. You should praising kids and disciplining them equally.You don not want to spoil your child by over praising yet you do not want him/her to lose confidence and self esteem either. Staying close with children, spending some quality time with them it is a key to a successful creation of your child's world.
ReplyDelete